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August 17th, 2007

09:39 am - Of course I'm not posting from work. What makes you think that? [shifty eyes] I don't think I've actually danced for over two weeks now (I suppose I could look at a calendar and figure it out exactly, but I'm too lazy). I'm gonna be hopeless when I get to Syracuse and start back at the Butler Academy; I mean, I'm out of shape enough already, but taking a hiatus this long isn't doing me any favors. Just when I was starting to get my front clicks down, too. Dang. And I've really been hankering for some toe stands. Is that weird? Like, I have this physical longing to put on my hardshoes and do a couple of my woefully short-lived toe stands, just because. Mmm, or that one part in my second hornpipe step with the "and treble and toe down." Love that part, even if half the time I can't do it on the left foot. Okay. It's Friday (last day of work thank goodness). I leave Sunday afternoon/evening. I haven't started packing yet. I need to get my passport (ouch--it's $127 for an expedited passport, which will still take about three weeks), run to Springs to see a few people, hang out with my family some more, do laundry, and go shopping. (I need socks. Also, new shoes. And maybe another pair of jeans if I can swing it.) I've gotten my bank business taken care of already, at least, but man. This is gonna be interesting. Heh. Fortunately, I'm not going to be taking nearly as much stuff as I normally would; it's mostly going to be my clothes, just a few books, my computer/camera/etc., stuff like that. Toiletries and drugs and a printer and another powerstrip and school supplies and such we'll pick up in Syracuse. I haven't quite decided what I'm going to do about my CDs; I don't have time, obviously, to import them all into iTunes (omg, sexy black 80GB iPod, best birthday present EVER), so maybe I just need to pare it down to the essentials and take those so I can rip them at my leisure. I dunno. Something. Sigh. This summer really got away from me. It definitely had its bright spots (dude, Laura, you totally have to come back), but for the most part, it was kind of...stupid. Ech. I do think I'm ready to get back to school, and I absolutely can't wait to see everyone, but the end has just rushed up so quickly. Bah. Well, too late now to do anything about it. Lol. Oh, and thank-you notes. Crap. Current Mood: probably too calm

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August 15th, 2007

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August 13th, 2007

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July 31st, 2007

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July 17th, 2007

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July 11th, 2007

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July 9th, 2007

02:06 pm So my boss's dog had diarrhea. Right next to my desk. Awesome. Three hours until I can leave. So long. Current Mood: ick

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July 1st, 2007

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June 24th, 2007

08:22 pm - I'm whining. So sue me. Today, before I drove to Springs with Kristin and kidnapped Hannah and sat on a hillside in Bear Creek Park and ate and talked and laid in the grass, I was having the crappiest day ever. And I don't even know why, is the thing. I felt fat and ugly and poor and all I had to look forward to for the rest of the summer was a load of boring, tedious work at two jobs I dislike, my room was (well, is) an absolute disaster, I was suddenly totally incompetent at relating to my family, and everything just sort of sucked. The panini and the sun and the giggly conversation definitely helped balance me out a bit, but...man. I'm really just not happy with this summer. The job thing is utterly ridiculous; I mean, I started at MTA almost two weeks after I was supposed to, I still don't know how much I'm getting paid, and I don't want to clamber about the roof of the Ice House with a measuring tape--I'm scared of heights, okay, and crawling around in a disgusting, creepy, lightless basement isn't any better. I'm glad I have something, at least, to fill in the rest of my work week, but...ugh. And speaking of having to fill in hours, Dear Karen: I appreciate the fact that you're "in and out of the office" a lot, but nine hours a week? Is not an internship. And you haven't paid me yet. Love, Colin. I just...I don't want the rest of this summer, which is short enough as it is, to consist of struggling to survive the week, trying to have a little fun during the weekend but feeling bad about it because I have so much to do around the house, and then scrambling to finish all my classwork on Sunday nights (*cough*) because everything else is killing me. Blah blah blah I should be proactive blah blah blah optimismcakes. ...Whatever. I just want to get paid doing something that allows me to exercise even a shred of my creative ability, be able to sit, just sit, for a few hours with people I like without guilt-tripping myself, and generally stop being a total lame-ass. It would also help if I could find the time and/or energy to actually, you know, exercise a little bit and not be in such hideous shape. Sigh. In other, less whiny news, the feis (...two weekends ago, I think?) was a lot of fun. It was sort of weird having my family there--I'm used to flying solo at these things, so I was like "Dancing in front of my brother? Awkward." It was sort of cool walking Aaron through his first exposure to the feis scene, though. My soft shoe round wasn't all that great--since it's the first dance, my reel was kind of choppy, and I lost my balance pretty obviously at one point in light jig--but since I'd been working mostly on hardshoe beforehand, my treble jig and hornpipe felt pretty good. I was quite pleased (and actually kind of surprised) at my results: 2nd place in treble jig and light jig, 3rd place in reel and hornpipe. These were decently-sized competitions too, about fifteen or sixteen people, and the other (taller, skinnier, louder) guy in my comps only beat me in one dance (treble jig), so I must've been doing something right. Now, apparently at the Bennett School, placing 1st, 2nd, or 3rd in all your Prizewinner-level competitions qualifies you for Preliminaries, but I'm pretty sure at Butler you have to get all firsts. I think with enough practice I could do fairly well in Prelims, but I'm going to give myself another shot at those firsts in Prizewinner at the CUIS feis in July. I'm going to practice, though, as if I were in Prelims--three reel and treble jig steps, two and a half hornpipe steps--just so I'm physically ready to move up if I get the spots I need. Oh man--the CUIS feis might get a little interesting, though. Like, half my extended family wants to come. Awkward. (Although that makes me want to practice even harder so I'll be extra-good.) I'll need Kristin there to, like, keep me sane. Okay, I really need to get on my class. I have a week's worth of stuff to do and I have to get up for work tomorrow. Ugh. (We had an absolutely gorgeous sunset tonight. East-coasters, you don't know what you're missing.) Current Mood: bleh

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June 7th, 2007

01:52 pm - Okay, scratch that last entry. Sort of. So I have another job. Finally. And I'll actually be working more than nine hours a week with this one. Woo. I can't believe how ridiculous my search for employment has been this year. I've had so many possibilities just...fail. First, Jason Jacques fell through. Then I didn't get the El Pomar internship. Then AEP was like "Well, we'd like to have you back but I don't think we'll have enough work." Then Karen Vivoda decided that "part time" means "under ten hours a week," and "Oh, by the way, I'm not going to be here at all next week, so...sorry." Then Starbucks, haaate. And now I'm going to be doing god knows what for MTArchitects, but it's fine because Mikal's a nice guy and the Pueblo Ice House project is super cool. Uggggggggggggggggh. Finally. So now I can sort of get into some sort of rhythm for the rest of the summer, and maybe start actually doing some of those things I really wanted to do. If I have any energy left over. Sigh. Pikes Peak Feis in less than two days. Eep. Current Mood: tired

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June 4th, 2007

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May 9th, 2007

12:19 pm Home. Current Mood: happy

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May 1st, 2007

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April 30th, 2007

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April 29th, 2007

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April 22nd, 2007

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April 8th, 2007

12:15 pm - "Well, I don't think it's my best laid plan." So there are four weeks left in this semester. I have to keep reminding myself that there's still a crapload of work to be done, because I feel like summer is rushing closer much too quickly and I'm simply not prepared. But I can't focus my energies towards that at the expense of, you know, actually staying afloat for the rest of this year. I have so much work, and the amount of time I have to do it is rapidly shrinking. I don't have a single full weekend in which to do homework for the rest of the year. Yikes. This is gonna be fun. But. I'm really looking forward to summer, because I think it's going to be my most productive one yet. I've decided that working at AEP again wouldn't be such a horrible thing--it'd pay a lot more than Starbucks (or whatever), and I'd be able to keep up on my CAD skills. Thing is, I don't know if they're even looking to hire a summer intern this year, but AEP's back on my list of possible work opportunities. Whatever job I end up getting, though, is really just going to be the backdrop for everything else I'm planning to do this summer. I'm taking an advanced poetry workshop from University College online, so I can finally get my butt back in writing shape; if I can manage even a poem a week, I'll be satisfied. I want to start building a body of work, because while I've had a few good poems over the years, I still sort of feel like a one-hit wonder. I'd like to actually consider myself a writer one of these days. Maybe I'll call Hannah up and start a two-person writers' circle. That would be beautiful. In addition to writing, a lot, I am also going to: - Run each of my dances at least once per day. With a bit of a warm-up, that'll take about ten minutes. Ten minutes, each evening? I can totally do that. I'll bet I could even run them twice. Lol. That'll be about 300% of the practice I get right now, so combine that with as many Saturday classes at the Bennett School as I can make, and I will be in damn good form for the two Colorado feiseanna. I'm already getting better than I thought I could ever be, and on Friday I actually hit most of my clicks, and got them decently high, in my hornpipe! It was such a great feeling. - Play a whole bunch of tennis with Sean and/or Aaron and/or Dad (and/or Kristin, if she's up for it haha). I was just on the phone with Sean and he was like "Dude, this summer? We should totally play tennis," and I was like "DUUUDE. We totally should." Lately I've really been missing it, and in summers past I'd be like "well, tennis sounds fun," but never want to go through the effort of actually playing. Not this time. I think I can totally get my game back after a few sessions, and right now nothing sounds better than whaling on some tennis balls at City Park on an awesome sunny morning. Unfortunately, it's SNOWING in Colorado at the moment, but point is, I really freakin' want to play. I'll need to buy new tennis shoes, because my old ones are...weird. I don't know. - Play harp until my fingers bleed. Well, not literally, but here's the thing: I am not really satisfied with my musical existence. I love my harp lessons, don't get me wrong, but...I could be so much better if I had more time to practice. My recent viewings of Michelle Mulcahy on YouTube have gotten me thinking "...I could totally do that," even though I'm nowhere near her amazingness. But I could be, in time, is the thing. So I want to learn at least one new piece every couple of weeks, just to expand my repertoire, and I want to be able to play some dance tunes (jigs, reels, etc.) up to speed by the end of the summer. It's just a matter of practice. That, and Aaron and Sean and I totally need to write some awesome original stuff and record it. I'd even like to get back into violin, but I really don't have the time or resources to take lessons at the moment. Someday. - Do crunches, push-ups, and stretching exercises every morning--no, seriously, EVERY morning--before showering. I'm sick of being out of shape and flabby and inflexible. But I...am just not a runner. I tried that last summer and failed after a week; it was not meant to be. But I stuck to my pre-shower exercises pretty well, so it's just a matter of being a little more committed. And like I said, I'm going to be running my dances every evening, which is every bit as good an aerobic workout as running. I'd like to get the NYC Ballet Workout DVD, and actually do some of the stuff on Jean Butler's Irish Dance Masterclass DVD, but those require more space than I think we have downstairs. Lol. At any rate, I want to finally get my ass in shape this summer. I've been saying that for the past million years--it's time to actually do it. - Conquer my fear of riding my bike in a municipal setting. I don't know, there's just something about the traffic that makes me really uneasy. I haven't seriously ridden my bike since, like, middle school. The last time I went for any sort of decently long ride was on Deep South Interim (note to self: riding fifteen miles hurts like a bitch when you're not in the practice of doing it regularly). It pisses me off that I'm not really comfortable on a bike anymore, and that I can only go about five minutes before it gets really painful. Sean, being the bike-addict he is, is working on turning us into The Cycling Family, which I think is awesome, so I need to get on that. One ride a week? Let's start with that. Sunday mornings. Awesome. - Read. My goodness, do I miss reading for fun. I barely do it at all when I'm in Syracuse, because I just do not have the time, and when I'm home, I tend to re-read books because it's easy. I love re-reading good books, it's one of my favorite things to do, but I've been feeling a little intellectually starved lately. I want to hang out at the library, which I do not do nearly often enough, check out some authors that've been recommended to me, buy that "Learn Irish" kit at Barnes & Noble, and really just do anything but read Tamora Pierce books for the fourteenth time. I mean, there will always be time for that, but there is so much wonderful writing out there that I'm dying to explore. - Cook. I made a mean chopped salad last summer (whiiich I totally just started craving haha), but...that's not cooking, so much. It was actually really cool, because chopping vegetables nicely is not something I'm very good at, so the practice was really valuable, but I just need to do more of that--being in the kitchen, doing random tasks, just learning. I don't need to be Bobby Flay or anything, I just want to be able to cook some pasta and improv with the sauce and toppings. It's as easy as hanging out with Mom when she's doing dinner, which is always fun anyway, so why not get that much more involved? - Help get the yard in shape. I have such a love-hate relationship with yardwork. Tell me to mow the lawn, and I'll grumble and procrastinate and generally be very unpleasant, but once I actually buckle down and do it, I actually enjoy being outside and sweating in the service of something. It's really just the idea of the physical labor and grossness afterwards I hate, not the actuality, unless the yardwork in question involves moving a pallet of bricks or pile of gravel from the driveway to the backyard, which I am SO OVER. Haha. But I enjoy getting my hands dirty, mucking around with plants and dirt, and nothing beats coming inside around noon after working hard all morning and getting a big old glass of iced tea and sending Dad to pick up the requisite fast food (...shh lol) lunch. Similarly, I suspect we'll be continuing our rather extensive interior renovations over the summer. I have the same problem: "Ech, painting? But I'd much rather sit on my ass all day," then putting on some good music and making jokes about the holes in my painting jeans and having a grand old time. With LJ as my witness, I pledge to (try to) be a lot less surly when it comes to helping out around the house this summer. - Stay in freakin' touch. A few minutes once a week or so, that's all it takes to give someone a call and see how they're doing. I have a phone phobia, I know, but e-mail is kind of a hassle (...the irony) and I'd like to hear the voices of 'Cuse people, and some FVS friends, and especially Mel. Last summer, I barely talked to ANYone (outside of the P-town crew, of course), and it sucked. I felt like such a bad friend. It's tricky, because most of my friends don't have the same schedule I do, don't like getting up at 8:00am on Sundays, et cetera. But seriously, what else am I doing Sunday afternoons? A quick call or two, once a week, once every other week, I don't care, just to see what's up. 'S all. Also, I'd like to actually write a few letters, because I always say I will and then...suck. (I know, Emily, I'm a horrible horrible person. It'll get there someday. Really. Once I'm done killing myself.) - Make time for my family. I feel like I've drifted away from them--aunts, uncles, cousins, Gramma, everyone--so, so much. It's sort of unavoidable, since, hello, I'm in freaking New York eight months of the year, but it's really unacceptable. The recent deaths in the family have really made me realize how much I miss everyone, and it's so easy just to take them for granted during the summer too. Like, "Oh, I was gonna go see a movie with Kelly and Kristin and Laura, can we go see Gramma tomorrow?" But when tomorrow rolls around, it's a Starbucks date or I'm on my way to Denver or something else has come up and I don't see Gramma for another two weeks. It is hard, when there's so much else going on (see above re: everything), but I want to regain the ground I've lost being away at college. I mean, I haven't hung out with Lynsey properly since--no lie--Winter Break FRESHMAN YEAR. I want to do art with Aunt Maura. I want to talk about green building with Uncle Paul. I want to have painting dates or Friday night pizza-and-movies with Aunt Judi. I want to get over feeling awkward when I'm around them, because: the hell? Family! Shouldn't be awkward! I just...really love them, a lot, but my actions haven't so much proven that lately. Let's fix that. - Generally rock out. I know that, realistically, all of these things aren't going to happen as much as I'd like them to--there are a finite number of hours in the week, after all--but I wanted to write it all out so that, whenever I'm sitting at home with "nothing" to do and feeling cranky and unfulfilled, I can come back to this entry and remind myself that there are a lot of really awesome things I could be doing. Okay. I think I've delayed doing homework for long enough now. And if you just made it through all of that rambling? You deserve a medal. Hahaha. Current Mood: hmm Current Music: ReSpekt

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April 1st, 2007

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March 30th, 2007

11:00 pm - Dear this week: shut up. And go away. Mixed bag at dance tonight, as per usual. Treble jig sort of sucked (sigh), but for once? My reel was awesome. I hit three of my four clicks each time I danced it through except one, which is exceptional for me. And hornpipe wasn't amazing, but not too shabby either. I need to register online for the CNY Feis, like, yestereday. I hope it hasn't hit its cap yet. In not-fun news, my great-aunt Betty died today, exactly one week after her husband Keith died. It's so sad, but neither of them had been doing very well at all, so it's sort of a good thing (in that depressing way). This is the side of the family we're not really super-close with, but I can't even imagine how hard it must be for them right now. Much love to all of them. Three relatives in five months. Jesus. Current Mood: tired

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March 25th, 2007

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